I've reached my brainfart quota for the week and it's ONLY Tuesday.

I don't know what's been up with me lately, but I've been having way too many Jessica Simpson moments.

On Sunday before my soccer game, I spilled coffee all over myself and managed to make some onlookers laugh at me. Thankfully, I found it amusing and laughed at myself as well. I had more ditzy moments that day, but I'm too 'tard to remember them right now.

Yesterday, a friend told me how a particular compilation CD reminds him of THE BEACH. I responded, "When I listen to music, I always pay attention to THE BEATS before the lyrics."

He looked at me like I was psycho.

THEN at my soccer game last night, one of my teammates yelled out. "H-E-A-T-H-E-R!"

Confused...I looked at her and asked, "Heater??"

My teammate sighed and asked, "Jess, are you with me? I spelled out 'Heather.' I was cheering her on."

Apparently, I didn't hear her yell out that second "H."

Fack!

I really don't know what's going on. Hmmmm.

But here's a possible theory:

So, when I wear makeup, I usually use pressed powder. Recently, I've tried this loose mineral powder stuff which is really nice and light on the face...good stuff. Only thing I find troubling is that whenever I brush it on, I find powder particles going up my nose and into my mouth...which causes me to inhale them.

Could this be the reasoning for my temporary stupidity?

Who needs cocaine and weed when you've got mineral makeup?!

It trips me out that this guy was on Degrassi.

I watched the BET Awards last night...loved it. I keep hearing and reading about this one rapper, DRAKE, and I know this is a delayed reaction, but he's not bad.

What kills me is that he was on the teeny bopper show "Degrassi: The Next Generation," and I'm sure it kills YOU to know that I'm even admitting to knowing this. (And yes, I used to watch the show. oy vey.)

I didn't pay much attention to him due to the fact that he was on "Degrassi" ONLY because that one redhead chick that's on the new "90210" also came from "Degrassi" and she has brought me nothing but disappointment (as well as the excruciating need to want to feed her). I guess she was better off staying on The N. Drake, on the other hand, he has shown me otherwise. Props to him! And if you must know, yes, I believe he has gotten better with age. Lil man's pretty good-looking now. Hmmmm. ;-)

Below is Drake's performance at the BET Awards. Cue it to 0:37 and you can basically stop paying attention after 5:00 because it gets pretty ridiculous after that:

Someone please explain THIS one to me.

I woke up this morning with the inclination that I had a dream last night, but I couldn't remember it for the life of me.

A chicken burrito for lunch later, it dawned on me that I had the most random-ass dream ever! Ok scratch that, I've had MORE bizarre dreams, but this one was pretty much out there.

I dreamt that Alanis Morrisette had an acoustic performance at Barnes and Noble.



I remember being in some outdoor shopping center and looking into the window and seeing Alanis with a guitar in hand...singing her "greatest hits." The even more facked up thing is she kept changing in and out of these stupid costumes and she would pull people from the "audience." For instance, there was a moment when she was dressed as an old man and I kid you not, she pulled a little boy from the club so she could serenade "You Oughta Know" to him. WTF?!

Please don't ask me WHY I had a dream like this because I HAVE NO CLUE. If anyone has a dream book handy and you'd like to assist me in deciphering this freaky dream, by all means, be my guest!

WHAT I DO KNOW IS...I would probably go a little bonkers after breaking up with Ryan Reynolds (yeah so what if it was 2 years ago). Whether my dream was real or not, I would totally go nuts and perform at Barnes or at Venice Beach after splitting up with this dude...



I'm just saying.

And by the way....Scarlett Johansson, you suck!

:-P

Rollin' With the Homegirls

I interviewed the LA DERBY DOLLS this past weekend and let me tell you...it was THE BOMB DOT COM! I didn't know much about roller derby, and after having the pleasure of meeting some of the dolls, I have a new found sense of respect for these women. Hell, they were even trying to recruit me. Hmmmmm. I wouldn't mind kicking ass on wheels!

Oh and I just had to snap a shot of my hot pink and black VIP bracelet. VIP...I know, right?



The interview should be posted on www.MishMashMagazine within the next couple of weeks, so make sure you keep checking back (and of course, I'll keep you updated).